You think once you get your executive man to put down his phone, getting him to actually pay attention to what’s coming out of your mouth would be a pice of cake.

Uh, no. His attention span apparently runs out of juice as soon as his phone leaves his hands.

Orrrr, all of his attention is stuck at work. Even though he is physically with you. I refer to this annoying behaviour as the reason why executive men have a hard time having fun in this post. It’s the same reason why he forgets things like putting your best friend’s engagement dinner in his calendar. Or why he thinks everything is boring.

He goes off to la la land….And doesn’t come back until you stick your finger in your mouth and then put it in his ear. When he gets back to reality, he has no fucking clue what’s going on. And that’s not fun, so obviously, he finds whatever you’re talking about boring. I wouldn’t suggest using the wet finger strategy long term to drag him out of a daze unless you plan to load up on hand sanitizer.

If he can’t be mentally present, then is he really even IN the same relationship you are? Simon says, no. And I agree.

So what do you do? You get your executive man to do what Oprah does. And what Tony Robbins, and Ellen De Generes, and Arianna Huffington, and Jeff Weiner, Russel Simmons, Katy Perry, Clint Eastwood….all do.

THEY ALL PRACTICE MEDITATING.

Now, hold on. Before you go calling me a hippie, hear me – I mean, read me out. If you’ve never tried meditating, don’t knock it till you try it. Seriously. It’s magical.

Meditating does not require you to give up the religion that you choose to live by or allow to be imposed upon you by the people who gave you life. Meditating requires you to simply clear your mind without falling asleep at the wheel. The human brain is like a hamster on a wheel, constantly spinning. While meditating, your job is to proactively push thoughts out of your mind until it is absolutely blank. Visual or auditory disturbances shouldn’t crack your beautiful blankness. It takes hours and hours of practice to reach this level of pro meditating.

To start, you can try focussing on a single object, like a colour, or a shape. Visualize and think of the colour or shape each time a thought about anything else enters your mind. If you need to block out sounds, listen to binaural beats. Turn off the lights, and close your eyes. Eventually, when you become good at controlling focussing on a particular colour or object, kick it up a notch. Try giving up the object training wheels and just start pushing random thoughts out of your brain. What’s left is beautiful nothing. Not long after, a feeling of relaxation, like you’re floating in water, starts to take over.

Like I said, magical.

The point I’m trying to make is that the mind is a muscle. Like any other muscle, your executive man needs to work it out. Watching porn doesn’t count. That’s like inhaling a tub of ice cream when it’s not cheat day. Over time, meditating will allow him to exercise control over his thoughts; what enters his mind and when. This means, that he might actually turn his filter to the on position permanently before he speaks. *GASP* He will also notice that he can be present and in the moment if he chooses, instead of his mind constantly being hijacked by work related worries. This means he can actually have some fun. Becoming a pro meditator means your executive man will have enough mental strength and discipline to focus on what is coming out of your mouth and he might even make it to your best friend’s engagement dinner.

In case you’re curious about all of the other wonderful magical effects of meditation, there is a butt load of content out there. This includes benefits that are backed by scientific studies, which I’m too lazy to reference. Also, this is not a university neurology class, so feel free to google it. 😃

But, if you need more in depth instructions on how to meditate, check out this book.

*Spoiler Alert*

You’re not going to want to miss the next post. It’s all about sex. You know, that thing people like having lots of and executive men sometimes pay for? Yeah, that.

xo

-M

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