Ladies, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t know about you, but nothing kills my lady boner faster than when every last detail is planned out. Impulsive behaviour is the spice of life and your homegirl likes to be well fed.
You know that feeling when you splurge on a pair of shoes (that you weren’t planning on buying) because they’re soooo pretty? Yeah, executive men are deprived of that feeling. Utterly and sadly deprived. I know, they live an unfortunate life, right?
In the last post, I explained that an executive man wouldn’t just take off to Vegas because he is always too busy crunching numbers in an effort to justify his spending. I also alluded to the fact that this annoying habit prevents him from doing anything impulsive.
Another reason why he likely won’t do anything impulsive is because every minute of everyday needs to be planned.
I dated an executive once who was more than happy to show up hours late for a date if a client job came up or ran late. I couldn’t, for the life of me, get this guy to commit to being on time during peak season for his business. Getting him to do anything impulsive was nothing but a fantasy. If we were taking a road trip, it had to be planned months in advance. This was done so that he could hustle hard before we left.
Because there were no guarantees that those opportunities (client meetings, new contract jobs, etc.) would still be there when he got back. Competition is that fierce and ladies, your executive man knows it.
Remember, in the post “The 4 Things That Define An Executive Man”, I explicitly mention that most executive men sell their time (billable hours). People who earn a salary can calculate, as an example, exactly how much in earnings they’ll lose by missing work to take a vacation. Since executive men don’t earn a salary, it is tough for them to estimate how much money they’ll miss out on by being away from work. Also, executives need to spend money on their business and pay for things like marketing and labour in order to make money. This is another reason why they can’t be impulsive spenders.
They plan their time in such a way that ensures they’re making enough money to cover all of their expenses, plus hitting their income goals. For this reason any time away from work must be in his calendar.
I don’t blame him from shying away from doing impulsive things, but there needs to be balance.
Girl, this is where we come in. It’ll be a tough nut to crack in terms of changing his behaviour. Here are a few solutions that worked for me and my executive men.
1) Get him to set aside what I like to call an “impulsive spending budget”.
Executive men love to budget, so have him add this as a line item in his expense budget. Be sure to explain to him that this isn’t money he has to spend on you. We don’t want him calling you the G word. Its money that you can help him spend on himself on a whim without him worrying about his financial situation. Make sure it is an amount that he is comfortable with.
2) Help make his schedule impulsive behaviour friendly.
Get to know his work routines. If he’s in meetings all week, try to get him to stop scheduling meetings on Fridays. No one likes Friday meetings, I promise you that. This will free up Fridays and allow you to take weekend trips here and there. Of course this may mean you’ll have to make a few concessions. In order to make up for not scheduling meetings on Fridays, he may have to schedule meetings later in the evening the other days of the week. Can you go without date night Monday to Thursday?
3) Be BFFs with his executive assistant or who ever manages his calendar.
Work with the executive assistant to figure out if there are tasks that he can delegate to free up his time in large chunks towards the end of the day or week. Set expectations with the EA that you’d like to build some flex time into his calendar. Meetings and billable hours should only be scheduled into the flex time blocks either after checking in with your executive man to confirm he is available to work or on an urgent need basis. ONLY RESORT TO THIS OPTION IF YOU ARE HIS WIFE OR IN A COMMITTED LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Chances are that he won’t introduce you to his EA if you don’t play a meaningful role in his life.
For all of the above suggestions, you do have to get him to co-operate. That means sitting him down in front of his favourite food or adult beverage and explaining that perfectly planned calendars are not an ingredient in panty soup. At all.
Let me know how it goes chica! Drop me a line on your favourite social media platform.
Challenge number 6 is up next. Ready for it?