Like most women, you probably have a list of “must-have” and “nice-to-have” qualities in the men you want to date. You probably also have a list of deal breakers. If you’re anything like me, an OCD analytical perfectionist, your lists are more particular than the US government’s requirements for granting top-secret security clearance. Ain’t no body getting up in between these legs if they’re not coming correct, honey!
I’ll spare you the details of my personal lists in this post. If you really want to know what’s on my list then stalk me on social media like a normal person. Or, if you’re lazy like me, subscribe to the Candy Jar below. When I have enough subscribers I’ll get around to sharing my lists eventually.
In this post, I’m sharing a list with you. Its one that answers an important question that will come up often on this here bloggy blog:
When I talk about “executive men”, who am I referring to exactly?
If you’re thinking a fancy suit, grey hair and old balls, stop. Stop right now. This is not Hollywood and there are men who love money outside of Wall Street. Not to mention, they look delicious too. **GASP**
Executive men can be defined broadly in a few ways. Based on my experience working with and dating these men, here’s the criteria I use to define today’s executive man:
1) He controls where his next earned dollar comes from.
Business owners are the first who come to mind. They’re a pretty straightforward example. The decisions they make about how they run their business determines where their next earned dollar comes from. But what about other professionals who chase the big bucks? I’m talking about doctors or lawyers, who work for a large organization and take marching orders from higher ups rather than calling the shots. Great question, I’m glad you asked! If he’s working for someone else and doesn’t have a side hustle that makes him money the way he decides outside of his “job”, then we’re not talking about him in this here lovely blog of mine.
2) There is a risk of losing money in the type of work he does.
Nope, not throwing you another curve ball with this one. Again, the business owner example is a pretty straightforward one and many professionals are often business owners. You’ve got the Dentist who runs his own clinic, the guy who owns a real estate brokerage and even the high school drop out who runs a successful marketing firm. It’s fairly easy to see how they could potentially lose money in their line of work. They have employee salaries, utility bills and rent to pay. If they don’t drum up business, they will owe a lot of money that they don’t have.
But how about those men with actual executive job titles, like Senior Vice President or CEO? You’re probably thinking there’s no risk in losing money as part of their work, so how could this criterion possibly be a part of how I define executive men?? Here’s where you’re wrong.
Men (and women) with executive positions at companies of any size risk losing quite a bit of money in a few different ways. Many of them get paid in the form of company stock (if the company is publicly traded). If the stock tanks, so does the value of their shares. If it tanks far enough fast enough, then they lose their job.
Senior executives who are fired from large publicly traded companies find it quite challenging to land a gig at the same level in another company within the same or similar industry. For example, Microsoft probably has hundreds of analyst level employees, but only one CEO. If they fire an analyst, a) they do not announce it publicly and b) he can very likely work as an analyst in any company that has a similar department. If they fire the CEO, it makes headlines and his options to switch another CEO gig are few and far between since he can really only work for Microsoft’s competitors. Do you think Google will hire an ex-Microsoft CEO who was fired? One wrong move and this type of executive risks losing A LOT of money.
Executives at large private companies aren’t paid in stocks, but the majority of their compensation is paid in the form of performance based bonuses. So, again, he risks losing money too.
3) He is in full control of his schedule, even though he likes to think he’s not.
This and the money thing are probably the only two things that Hollywood gets right about executive men. This is also the one area that I argue about with the executive men I’ve dated. He likes to think he’s super busy. I like to think he’s volunteering himself as a slave to his clients, suppliers, employees and anyone else who wants to go toe-to-toe with me to compete for his time.
Don’t get it twisted ladies. He doesn’t HAVE TO meet with the client for dinner this Thursday. That’s why everyone has a calendar app on their smartphone. He doesn’t HAVE TO fly to New York for business on your birthday. That’s what Skype is for. He doesn’t HAVE TO pick up the phone after hours when a client calls. That’s what voicemail is for. He doesn’t HAVE TO keep you waiting 2 hours for a date because a supplier refused to shut up on a conference call. That’s what balls are for.
You get the idea. Most executive men don’t. They think the world will stop spinning and their business will crash and burn if they don’t handle every last stinking little detail themselves. This is basically how they see their business: no one knows as much as them, everyone else is too stupid to figure things out and even if they do manage to figure things out, they probably won’t get it done on time. Executive men forget that they are the shot callers. They forget that they can delegate (most of them just don’t want to…it’s like a new mom leaving her baby in the care of other adults for the first time). If you run into an executive man like this, do both of yourselves a favour and read the 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris.
4) His earning potential is limitless.
The easiest way to explain this one is by saying that he does not earn a salary. His income is not static. It depends on the results of his efforts – NOT how many hours he works, but the OUTCOME of his efforts.
Let’s take a car salesman for example. He earns commission for every car he sells. Unlike a practicing family physician in Ontario, Canada, where healthcare is free, there is no limit to the car salesman’s earnings. You could say that his earnings are limited based on the number of potential customers who walk into the dealership. I’d argue that with the application of definition #1. The salesman can sell anywhere, anytime. He can sell at family gatherings, auto shows, and make contacts (sales leads) at any number of other places. He is in full control of how much money he makes.
The family physician in Ontario, on the other hand, does not have the same earning potential as a car salesman, unless the doctor has a side hustle in which his earnings are truly limitless. A good example of a doctor with a side hustle is one who “partners” with pharmacists. The duo open pharmacies that are in the same building as the clinic and every time doc writes a prescription, it prints out at the pharmacy. The doctor then gets a cut of the profit from the number of prescriptions he sends over to the pharmacy or just has the pharmacist pay him rent.
I know you’re definitely wondering why I didn’t include a dollar figure as a benchmark to define an executive man (“an executive man is one who makes more than 6 figures…”). It was deliberate. This blog is not about how to love men who MAKE lots of money. It’s about how to love men who LOVE money (i.e. they want to spend their time making more of it).
Take a moment to Google Nav Bhatia. He is not only a perfect example of an executive man, but also a great example of a diamond. I talk at length about diamonds in another post. No, they’re not the big sparkly rocks in rings that come with perfect proposals.
The defining criteria that I laid out for you is pretty personal stuff. You definitely can’t start a conversation with a man by asking him if he controls how he earns his next dollar. He’ll most likely swipe left on yo face. Literally. Like, with his whole entire hand. In person. So, how do you identify an executive man? I’m glad you asked. That little golden nugget will be an article that I’ll post as soon as I get over my NYE hangover. Scroll down and do the subscribe thing so you don’t miss it!